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I stopped to pick up a prescription at CVS after work tonight. That went well. Dan at the pharmacy is nice. Or I can at least humor him into a smile. Okay, can I ask you? Does your scalp itch? Is it my age or the hard water or dry heat? What the heck?
Anyway, I happened down the shampoo aisle on my way out of the store and was distracted for, well, let’s say about 20… minutes or so, by a display of Fair Trade products made by women. I was fascinated by the ingredients: various mints, butters and oils promising to repair and replenish.
I finally settled on a leave-in conditioner with apple cider vinegar and African Jamaican oil. It seemed like it was light enough not to overwhelm my fine hairs, as my grandma used to call them.
The cashier told me it would weigh down my hair so she took me back down the aisle and I ended up with an Almond Milk spray conditioner and a dry shampoo called the Body with Joy. Right? How perfect.
Well, Todd wondered where I had been since I had texted him over 40 minutes earlier that I had picked up his prescription.
“Shampoo aisle,” I said. “Does your head itch…?” Excited by my new purchases I headed to the bathroom with him standing by.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s leave-in conditioner.”
“Don’t put something else on your head if it itches.”
“Leave me alone.”
“Now what are you doing?”
“It’s dry shampoo. It adds body.”
“So you’re spraying on conditioner for your scalp and then using the dry shampoo to get the conditioner off your hair?”
Go away. Spritz spritz…spray. (Cough.)”
“What is that smell?”
“Oh come on. You can never smell anything.” Seriously, he can’t smell very well. Narrow nasal passages.
“No really.” He says looking at me with his eyes squinting. “It smells like cheap perfume. You’re going to wake up tomorrow with your eyes swollen shut.”
I knew I should have gone with the coconut and not the mango scent. He turned the range hood on over the stove to get the smell out.
“Oh come on!” Now I was getting irritated. “You can’t smell anything.”
“I can smell it.”
“Well take it back to the store then and exchange it.”
“You already used it. I can’t. How much did it cost?”
“$8. Why do you always do this? I was really feeling good about this and now you’ve gone and ruined it.”
“Why don’t you go shampoo your hair?
“I have a hair appointment tomorrow.” I picked up my phone then and started to write the story.
“Put your phone down. Give it a rest. Stop writing.”
“I don’t tell you to stop messing with the remotes or watching a game…(scratch scratch).”
Todd looked at me and shrugged, “I married Lucy Ricardo.”
The end.

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